Prada Candy: more like an eyecandy

And she walks just like a marshmallow melts in your mouth. Cursed by doubts and absolutely resisting to chose. "You have to look at your best" tells her horoscope and she closes down the book, flips it vertically then horizontally and leaves it on the edge of a table. She is sure for the one thing: somebody will touch it and it will fall, and then she'll be able to shout out her temper that's been sitting in her for the past few weeks. She resist to drink wine and writes down her allure thoughts, nobody has to know that. She is weak at keeping her own secrets, she's better at others. She hides her books and forgets where did she hide them. And then simply pretends that nothing really matters. She is waiting for a call, but calls first. She likes writing mail to herself. And more she sits in front of the sun - wider her smile gets. She bounces not walks. She runs out of ideas the minute she gets excited about her ideas. And slightly blushing she says "Ouhh.." She loves touching bodies and making people feel uncomfortable. Reviewing this habit sometime after, she feels uncomfortable herself. She smiles, she smiles and she smiles. She wants flowers, but gets a glass of beer. She doesn't want anything and gets what she would want. Surprise! She is scared to be happy due not to spook happiness away. She's afraid to share happiness, but does that anyway, because when wine flows her secrets flow as well. It doesn't take long and she creates new secrets. Because when she walks marshmallows melt in your mouth.

"Julius has the brains of a scientist, but the intelligence of a gorilla. Gene, of course, is every girl's dream, but a woman's nightmare" complains Léa Seydoux in the new Prada commercial for the Candy L'Eau. New Roman Coppola's and Wes Anderson's collaboration for a short movie for Italian fashion house. Very French and very stubborn, very light and highlighted with Jacques Dutronc musical point. Something that has a power to get you running down the street with no actual reason. Maybe to get that Candy. Candy - the one that got away.

 

Keep on drooling

With the second batch of snowy dough, spring is trying to get to our souls and kill gently hypnotizing and freezing. However, not everybody is willing to give up and doesn't matter how loud I would scream "There is no point!", I'll still manage to find teeny tiny point in actual moving forward.

Four months or even five months of winter is just trying to scare the shit out and getting boring as constantly repeated phrase "the winter is coming" in game of thrones. Advice: Nevertheless, instead of giving up on a minor mistake or obstactle continue training your strength. Wax your shoes that they wouldn't get soaked, wear your mittens, read books or at least read your labels, feed your ego. 

As talking about emotional harmonization and feeding ego. If sexual treatment is hiding deep under snow piles there is old good women beloved way to the fulfillment. Ice cream. I'm not a big fan of ice cream, though, I am a big fan of Mr. Boonstra's, Wyne Veen's and Zack McDonald's baked advertising campaign for Frozen Dutch.

Dripping, melting and vividly exposed. Unusual assortment of visual and textual quality resemblance of the guilty pleasures. And the lack of romance and hot air whispers are being changed by admiration towards subtle and tasty advertising. I think it is flirting with me.

 

Stimulation and Simulation

Controlled movements force the pressure towards body and cause a rapid vibration starting from capillaries to veins, from veins to arteries, from arteries to heart, from heart back again. Convulsively pushing and pulling, with the highest voltage included. Sinking in an unconsciousness, losing the basic control over the limbs and the mind. Disturbing the breathing routine and causing a sense of fainting. An instant flush of heat and energy rush. Blurring out. Fading away. Prolonging the moment with confirmation of I can I will. I want. I desire. I urge. I can. I will. I need. I lust. Basing on simple stories and creating more complex. Framing the situation in the cotton meaning frames and sending it to the transaction department. Flushing red, white and black colours down ones mind and gathering irrelevant idioms to determine the situation. Trying to find the most suitable name and keep it in a high level of interest. Simulate and Stimulate. Arouse a response. Arouse and keep it hot till the dinner. Turn on and off, and then turn on again. Brightness flashing in the speed of light. With two fingers on a switch and two in mouth. Electric shock and energy leak.

 

Sensitivity and Sun

Sensitivity and Sun.
Sensitivity and Sun.

Sensitivity and Sun.

  Circulating around and exercising body. Sensitivity and Sun. Stretching skin, kissing whispers of eyelashes, planting smile all over mysterious lands, singing in a romantic melody and whistling while I try to fall asleep. 

Sensitivity and Sun.

So much love to give, just come and ask for it.

Sensitivity and Sun.

I exhale those words as ocean exhales waves and splashes, as mountains exhale avalanches. 

Slowly spreading mist in your ear and getting lost in arms of forest and thoughts of fields.

Sensitivity and Sun.

Take me

Where you can be Sensitive and I can be Sunny

Structure me

Again, floating with no actual need to float, I'd better sink down. Freakishly hard to state anything yet. It is like waiting for a diagnosis. Nor there, nor here. And the problem is - one couldn't say that the mood is bad or joyful. Either way, that would be just a lie. The mood is inconsistent. Unstable. Something annoying is hurting with little spikes. Hurting my back and at the same time spreading small impulses through my neurons and getting deeper in my muscles. But it never causes not even a slight sense of anger. No anger... too bad.

One minute body is standing still with a thought of a sudden collapse. However, that collapse never comes. It's been a long long time and nothing had changed. Nothing was triggered to change. Nothing was made differently to change. The structure just standing waiting to collapse, disseminate. Clutter collectively gathers around and ones body becomes a waste yard. 

Really, haven't figured out how a person can be so disappointed of ones life line and still be a life lover at the same time. It happens. But nothing changes and I am pretty sure it is just because one haven't made a proper step to change it. Structure me because one step forward and two back don't work anymore. Nor body nor brain learn from mistakes. Especially heart. What a heck is matter with that muscle? It supposed to work properly but when head is tricking heart and other way round I have to wait for diagnosis. Impatiently. I packed my bags already, I left, I came back. Why?

And yet trying to calm down magically repeating "You'll be just fine, You'll be just fine, I'm not gonna do anything about it". That must be it. I'm not doing anything about it. Act or forget, you'd say. Bullshit, nor action nor trying to forget helps. I'll take another chance and screw all the opportunities I had, I have or I will have. If I can't get anger naturally I'll build it up. I couldn't be mad on you. But that's not the issue. I couldn't be mad on myself. The tender and carrying heart. Fuck it, really. Why?

It's all because of that book by Ayn Rand.

I don't know if anybody feels the same way. I don't know what the way it is. But god help me to figure out if it is just my silly head or it is a usual thing. Neither way would help me, but at least I could try to compete and get it all straight. And clear, and clean. That's how I like it. Please, structure me. In all positive ways.

CHRIS ROUND pertinent structure photography. You can find and learn more about it here

there is no end if there was no beginning

How can you understand when you've never saw. How can you see when your eyes are closed. Eye lashes glued together and little voices tingling in your head tell you to be afraid. But never encourages you to think that you can't determine yourself as being brave if you've never been afraid. 

As I wake up and can't roll to any of the sides because of the stiff body that imprisons me by night. I get free.

As I wake up and can't get rid of the thought that I got rid of the thought that has been haunting me for a half a year.

As I am awake and sit there silent and smile to my cup of coffee. And then smile to my second cup of coffee.
As I am awake and understand that all that strong feeling that I was dropping on others heads finally dropped on the right one. Mine. 

As I am going to sleep I recall that golden lining of a heavy Danish cloud hanging above the library for the past few hours.

I say words too fast. I let them go. Then I lose something. I let them go. Then I create something. I give away. I let them go.

You know, so many words for nothing. So many things that I care about, and not so sure if that many things care about me. I bet you felt like it. Difference is - I am not grumpy, I am not bitter, I am awake even when I sleep. And I am here for you. If you have a need.

Building myself as a green hedge, cutting bad thoughts off, putting some proper conversation fertilizers, trimming melancholy and shaping ideology. 

there is no end if there was no beginning

Awesome wave to Saturday's Britain

Hey Britain, I was thinking about you for quite a while. Tracking the force of a dull rain, counting your pavement tiles and touching skin of bottomless chests filled with husky accent.

I'm not a story teller. Not yet. It will take some time to put right words together and I can do that just if nobody is watching. I sleep like a rock, once I put my head on a pillow, think what have I done wrong and why I do not fix it, then fall asleep with deep deep dreams and dream that somebody sets oneself on fire. And it happens and happens again. And then I swim into the widths of lakes, naked and light tickles me from bellow.

Today is Saturday. Awesome wave of ∆ (Alt-J) is flowing through my headphones and bringing it's British indie rock to settle in my head. This quartet and their Awesome wave album, which was released last May had been announced the 7th best album of year 2012 in Guardian together with The XX and Tame Impala, other two bands that keep me going where I'm going. And it is not Downhill anymore.

Have a nice day my lovely Saturday birds. Fly, flow, continue being, happy or not just hang in there. It'll come. And dear Britain, I'll come to you. Maybe on some Saturday next month. 

Therefore remembering that I am still in Denmark and it is not that bad.

Kys og knus,

Ugne

Hey, keep keep

Hey! Keep doing.

Because they do... They always try to be strong, to carry the burden, to try and try, and try again. To build and not to worry too much if it is being destroyed. Just... build it again. And they succeed, the same as little ants rebuild their anthill, the same as disabled person starts running again. Less regrets, more actual actions. Less waste of time and more inner strength. More will to learn and more will to adapt to the situation, more power to leave what was not worthy and more strength to start what might be the necessary.

I ask myself who are "they". "They" are people who have been around me. Some of them for whole 22 years, some of them just for couple of years or months. Some of them will be for few more, some of them are already gone. Anyhow, all of them taught me something - carry on.

Say "No", when it is necessary, relax when hard times are stressing. Read fairy tales even though nobody is listening. Live as you were in a fairy tale, even though you are not. Laugh from the things that are not funny, and do not get angry if someone is laughing at you. It will make you even funnier. Support and stand for the most beloved just to make them feel that they suppose to love themselves. Sacrifice small things for bigger and do not regret it. Find a goal and more important - keep the goal. Keep trying if you find it worth it. Stop trying if it is for the better. Think less and act more. Some of them taught me to forget the bad and work for the better. Some of them taught me not to complain. Some taught me to be aware. Some of them taught me that no matter what lesson others try to teach you, it's your turn to learn and your turn to make mistakes.

And I am doing that. Not even promising to do. I am doing. With small aches and blisters that I get on my way to my goals. I am still doing.

We are makers and we will be, unless you are smaller than an ant. 

With huge love and a huge to-do list,

Ugne

Flip the page

The universe is made of stories, not atoms. —Muriel Rukeyser

As time is passing by and bringing cooler and more humid weather I start to think that addiction to books might serve me good this time. I live in a basement in the house on the peak of the hill. Sun rays conquer my cell between 9 and 12 in the morning, the time when I sleep. The rest of the day crawls in the shadow. Warm tea and bunch of unread books just gives me a time to relieve the stress, not that I have something to stress about, but just because I am very good at making up problems. And yes, bunch of unread books, just because I'm collecting books more passionately than reading them . However the thing is, it is a perfect time to read. And go for a beer in the evening. And read while riding a bus. And read while riding a bus back to the top of the hill. 

Just got out of Castaneda's peyote delusional hallucinations and long hours trying to "see" and feel the seeing as a shamanistic power. Not long after that Herman Hesse's "The Glass Bead Game"  dragged me into the marbles rolling in the musical environment of a growing genius Joseph Knecht. I'll stay here for a bit. And like somebody said "God made man because he loves stories", if it is too cold to go out and create a story by yourself, get a book. 

Good Books has a brilliant campaign and brilliant sense when to publish it as well. 

Mystified and soaked black Metamorphosis animation of a harrying need to have Kafka...

...and boiling blood hot Havana Heat for ladies who are still counting the shades of grey autumn skies...

When I'll finish reading Hesse, maybe you'd recommend something for me?

If not, meet you in bed. Here's the most comfortable place to read for now. 

Bridget Collins