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12/1/14

how much?

the measure of stability is not a measure of heaviness.

I've been counting my belongings. I lost the count twice or three times. I've tried to decide what to throw out but I sincerely believe that I am not good at throwing things, people or emotions out. Not even sure if I want to be good at that. So I keep the weight.

I tried to forgive and forget. Managed the forgive part but never accomplished to forget.

Tried to sell things to others, but maybe the attachment to it reduced the price without words. It became secretly "never ever possible to belong to others". Tried to give away and that worked out, however, every time I met my belonging it would look to my eyes and send me signals "How could you do this to me?!"

It is not the belongings that make me feel stable and peaceful. It is a lack of them. And a constant cycle of things out and in. in and out.

now I count my peace. I loose the count twice or three times.

I never care



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