there is no end if there was no beginning

How can you understand when you've never saw. How can you see when your eyes are closed. Eye lashes glued together and little voices tingling in your head tell you to be afraid. But never encourages you to think that you can't determine yourself as being brave if you've never been afraid. 

As I wake up and can't roll to any of the sides because of the stiff body that imprisons me by night. I get free.

As I wake up and can't get rid of the thought that I got rid of the thought that has been haunting me for a half a year.

As I am awake and sit there silent and smile to my cup of coffee. And then smile to my second cup of coffee.
As I am awake and understand that all that strong feeling that I was dropping on others heads finally dropped on the right one. Mine. 

As I am going to sleep I recall that golden lining of a heavy Danish cloud hanging above the library for the past few hours.

I say words too fast. I let them go. Then I lose something. I let them go. Then I create something. I give away. I let them go.

You know, so many words for nothing. So many things that I care about, and not so sure if that many things care about me. I bet you felt like it. Difference is - I am not grumpy, I am not bitter, I am awake even when I sleep. And I am here for you. If you have a need.

Building myself as a green hedge, cutting bad thoughts off, putting some proper conversation fertilizers, trimming melancholy and shaping ideology. 

there is no end if there was no beginning