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The universe is made of stories, not atoms. —Muriel Rukeyser

As time is passing by and bringing cooler and more humid weather I start to think that addiction to books might serve me good this time. I live in a basement in the house on the peak of the hill. Sun rays conquer my cell between 9 and 12 in the morning, the time when I sleep. The rest of the day crawls in the shadow. Warm tea and bunch of unread books just gives me a time to relieve the stress, not that I have something to stress about, but just because I am very good at making up problems. And yes, bunch of unread books, just because I'm collecting books more passionately than reading them . However the thing is, it is a perfect time to read. And go for a beer in the evening. And read while riding a bus. And read while riding a bus back to the top of the hill. 

Just got out of Castaneda's peyote delusional hallucinations and long hours trying to "see" and feel the seeing as a shamanistic power. Not long after that Herman Hesse's "The Glass Bead Game"  dragged me into the marbles rolling in the musical environment of a growing genius Joseph Knecht. I'll stay here for a bit. And like somebody said "God made man because he loves stories", if it is too cold to go out and create a story by yourself, get a book. 

Good Books has a brilliant campaign and brilliant sense when to publish it as well. 

Mystified and soaked black Metamorphosis animation of a harrying need to have Kafka...

...and boiling blood hot Havana Heat for ladies who are still counting the shades of grey autumn skies...

When I'll finish reading Hesse, maybe you'd recommend something for me?

If not, meet you in bed. Here's the most comfortable place to read for now. 

Bridget Collins

Arian Behzadi

"Vakar devintame aukšte žmogus išėjo į balkoną parūkyti. Balkonas ėmė ir nukrito. Žmogus liko gyvas. Sakė mes rūkyti"

"Yesterday on the 9th floor man went to a balcony for a smoke. Balcony fell down. Man survived. He said he'll quit smoking"

-Simonas, January '12

My clothes, my face, my eyes fading in with the tint of my sofa. My blue soul and my blue mind is standing still and slowly becoming a swamp. The escape plan is ruined and concentration is still not my best friend. Don't be lazy, don't be scared, go for your goals. Don't be lazy, don't be scared. One month left. Less than a month. The fading is still continuing and my simple words and even simpler thoughts make me feel like a little stone in a shoe. Totally useless and even annoying. I can't lose a temper, I don't have one. Who decides what kind of mood you'll have today? Who? Show me the one. I need to have a talk.

Arian Behzadi is currently a Biological Science major with an emphasis in Neurobiology, Physiology and Behavior at UC Davis in California. Even though studying sciences he finds the relation between art and his studies. Quirky designed collages and photography is setting a subordinate feeling , balanced sense of taste.  For more - check Arian Behzadi's photostream .

Simply Nothing

“ If you don’t know what you want, you end up with a lot you don’t. ”
- Chuck Palahniuk

standing in a gentle rain and waiting for something to drop on. Not the rain. Shoulders were shaking but standing still. Nothing much to do when you don't have your head. Nothing much to do when your shoulders does not have anything important to hold. Nothing. Nor let free nor on the leash. That's how bumblebee from Berlin calls this state. Simply nothing state. Simply 8 episodes of tv series watched. Simply nothing. 

Loads of crap. Non of it important. 

About the dancing pies

"Your freshly baked pie will cool down faster if you let it do a little dance"

Marc Johns

Freshly baked apple pie asked me if it can dance for a bit just to cool off. You know what I mean. Walk it out. Strange form of self disappointment expresses itself through my baking habits.
Today one book about the popular band in 70s has to be killed. 100 pages left. 99 pages left. 98 pages left.

While my pie is dancing and the girl in my computer is singing "I am tired and I'm blue" I am killing the book and dreaming about running down the hill. Jumping over the mole built bumps and rolling down the yellow grass all covered in smell of summer evening. Collecting my hats, glasses, best wishes, good memories, smile and other accessories, putting them into my pockets, on my head. Putting the crown of joy and elegantly flowing over the fields to the forest where my pie is still dancing and smiling. And all those pretty dreams came true. Or not. Or started dreaming by themselves. Dreams have to dream too, otherwise, nothing would be true. No. I don't talk to my pie. I talk to myself and actually... nah, doesn't matter. 97 pages left

The dance of a pie is truly filling me with a sensual feeling. The tasty smell.

bye

take care

People Say #4 : colourful crosswords

"Get out of the fuckin' bed" G.roommate

And I had no other choice. Crosswords for breakfast, books for lunch. Jacuzzi boys for energy.

How much time does it take to make holidays end. Article about caffeine that makes mice be lazy. I am lazy mouse.

Vertical: What is the name of Polish Air lines? Horizontal: The name of South America's mammal. 

Words had crossed in my head making some kind of a net and saving my laziness.

I should put myself together and go study instead. yup

People Say #3 inner celebration

"Everyday is an occasion to celebrate... for History students" M.e.

Celebration. Does not matter is it with champagne showers, with candies, confetti, balloons, lovers, friends and millions of gifts. Does not matter if it is with a cup of tea and newspaper, music flowing out of the radio. Does not matter if it is "Hygge", "Fiesta", "Party" or "Šventė" in all languages you can be happy. And you deserve to be happy. I want you to be happy.

And for being happy you have to construct you world in simple blocks. Happiness should be the base of it. And if one brick falls out of your carefully build castle and your dream house is falling apart one moment you hit happiness base and then start building your shelter again.

The most important suggestion would be not to build a tower, because higher you go, more distant your happiness becomes. And falling out from tower is always more painful then from a swing.

So until you haven't your brain exploded all around fancy marble floor, think less and build your promising but not keeping it's promises life on your happiness. I'm with you. Doing the same.

Floating yellow leaves in the Scandinavian wind, water reflections, dark lights on the restaurant roofs, Godfather theme played by violinist everyday in the same spot the same time, loads of wine and warm looks, red cheeks and cold fingers, books and bags that are heavy to carry, wide smiles and stupid jokes- all in my construction work. French memories, melting in a mouth crepes, men with scratched, bleeding fists, rollerblading in empty narrow streets, white sand which looks like snow at night and dark ocean, which is calm and shining with small stars- all are my bricks. Hometown pleasures, night walks, people who know you for ages, songs that are written to be remembered after ages, i'll be gonne and i'll be back, x-mas trees and perfect boys in the 9th grade, the first love that appears in dreams to remind that you are doing something wrong with your life, friends with the worst habits and biggest dreams - all there- all in my happiness house.

I don't want a lot. I just want to share that, what I already have.

With love and I mean it,
Ugne

People Say #2 : Questions

"How much tea can you drink?" M.-flatmate

Hah, this is question that I am asking myself too. Now it is 2,5 hours that I am awake and I'm having my 5th cup of tea today. I am water disposal. Non stop tea drinker. Yesterday I sang aka cheerleader song "gimme a T, gimme an E, gimme an A, gimme TEA!" quite stupid, and quite annoying, well at least my flatmate thinks so.


I question my bladder to, but I'm not gonna elaborate on that.
I question my need for tea. Question every step of weird 'drama queens' emotion that rises in my subconscious. Question my abilities and sometimes under appreciate them. And I drink loads of tea no matter what.

Some people say questioning is a part of existence. You are alive until you wonder. I would also add wander. You are alive until you wonder and wander around the places searching for something new and questioning life.

"How much tea can you drink?" questions me my flatmate.

"I will never be able to answer it. One day I might just stop drinking tea. Start eating bananas that I hate so much or start jogging. Most probably that won't happen, but you never know"

There are no stupid questions in the world. There is just inappropriate attitude towards those questions.
So
Why
Who
What
When
Where
?

Warm kisses from cold country,
Ugne

Julianna Swaney

people say #1

"You would totally be a proper hipster: you have macbook, casio on your wrist and no money"
G-latvian

What an insult.
And what a hard life. That cv and cover letter not gonna write themselves. I've been waiting for 2 year now, no change.

Do I really have to move my ass?
So sitting and watching episodes of "Friends" won't change anything? No improvement? Shite!

And I was hoping. Ha.. about hopes... most of them never come true until you forget them. That's right.
Nail polished, prepared for flipping study book pages. That's all of the change in one of the sunny Saturdays with a nice music.

One day I'll have money to buy you a gift. Or I'll hand craft if I don't have money. Still...

With love,
Ugne

Print by Aled Lewis